It's Like You're A Drug
by Graci93
Summary: REWRITTEN...'You had me, from the minute your cobalt orbs latched onto mine. You took me, captivated me until I was left...addicted. To you I was always your prisoner; to me...you were always my drug.'


**Hey, well basically this is an idea I had in my head for a while, the idea of love being a drug, addictive. So I posted it but it was quite confusing to some, certain elements of it like the grammar needed a much needed re-write. Thanks to a helpful review from BlueyGooz I learnt that some of the past and present tense were very confusing. I also realised I put a lot of '…' those in which now looking back and having rewritten I have learnt that are completely unnecessary within most of the story. So I promised myself I would re-do this story when I had the time…well now I have. **

**Thank-you so much to BlueyGooz for her advice about the story, she gave me some really helpful pointers concerning the grammar of this story that was much needed. **

**Hope it makes a lot more sense now, please review they are all appreciated **

**Grace xxx**

* * *

It's like you're a drug.

You had me, from the minute your cobalt orbs latched onto mine. You took me, captivated me until I was left addicted.

Addicted to you…trapped. To you I was always your prisoner; to me you were always my drug.

You know when you're a kid, so innocent, naïve, so curious and there's this big blue door and your Mum and Dad tell you not to go in under any circumstances. Or not to eat that sweet, press that button, they keep telling you more and more to stay away. But then there's this tiny, incy-wincey part of you that just wants to go behind that door. And yet the more they say no, the more you want it. Crave it. Desire it.

That's how I felt when I met you, I knew I shouldn't have let you but I did. I should have said no.

But I didn't.

I remember; the club was hot and steamy. The lights exploding with colour. I grabbed a glass of alcohol off the side before slipping my hand underneath my dress to pull it down gently. It barely reached my thighs, hugging my figure, a small blue number, cut just beneath my breasts. It matched your eyes.

,

"_Tay," I slur clutching onto my friend's shoulder as she creeps in between the mob of people grinding._

"_Do we have to do this; I haven't been to a place like this since…well Mathew." I finish as I whine to Taylor who seems to have spotted her date. _

"_Yes, come on Gabs besides he's really looking forward to meeting you!" Taylor hushes before she waves to the tall afro guy at the back of the club._

"_CHAD" Taylor squeals before hugging the tall guy whose hair is ten times taller up close. _

"_Chad honey I'd like you to meet my best friend since… forever Gabriella Montez, and Gabi I'd like you to meet Chad my date."Taylor finishes before splitting her vision between me and Chad. _

"_Hey" I mutter sheepishly. Chad smiles at me before kissing Taylor on the cheek._

"_Listen me and Chad are gonna go dance," Taylor says loudly, her voice piercing through the heavy music before lowering her voice to a soft whisper, directly in my ear. "Wish me luck" before she walks away, Chad's arm around her waist tightly, protectively. _

"_Oh Gabs" Chad shouts as he turns his head in my direction quickly, his afro bobbing along with him. 'Gabs?' "If Troy comes back, tell him I'm with Tay" before disappearing within the flock of people. 'Whatever' I think as I begin to make my way towards the bathroom. Suddenly I can feel warm hands on my body as fingers begin to trace small circles on my back. _

_You take my hips; begin to lead me towards the dance floor. I can feel sharp sparks shooting up my spine, my arms and taking the highway to my heart. _

,

I didn't know whether I enjoyed it at first, I guess it just took a while getting used to it. But doesn't everything, but before you know it you're addicted. I didn't even know why are let you continue.

But I did

And it came at a price, but doesn't everything.

,

_We begin grinding, beating, I can feel your hot breath against my neck. Taunting, teasing, and testing me. Then before I know it, I have my back against the wall; I can finally look you in the eye. You begin to leave a trail of wet kisses along my neck, my collarbone…my heart. _

"_I can't do this," I groan, as you find my soft spot."I don't even kn-know your name" I whimper as my hands find their way between your sandy hair, your toned skin, your muscular form. _

"_Do you want to?" You growl as you begin to make your way towards my lips. _

_And then it all happens so fast, we crash somewhere in the middle, we click, we fit and I lose myself. The kiss is so mesmerizing, indescribable and passionate, it's like we were meant to be together all along and for once in my life since Matthew I feel alive…if not more. _

_But as quick as its starts it's over_

"_Troy,-uh Gabriella, nice to see you two have already introduced yourselves" Chad shouts astonished. He doesn't see anything; _

,

I knew he didn't because if he did I wouldn't be how I am now.

Addicted

I still can't decide whether that was the best day of my life or the worst. It was the first day in two years that my body woke up from a deep sleep. It was also the first day my heart began to break.

I couldn't help myself even when I learnt about your engagement; I still came back for more.

You take the drug and at first you think of it as a bit of fun, nothing to it. Then you take some more until soon enough you can't live without it. It becomes your air, your life support and soon enough it becomes you. You are what you consume.

I remember that very conversation, with Chad. I was asking how you were since that night, our night. I admit I was squeezing information from him. What did you expect, we kiss as strangers, then it turns out our best friends are dating. How could you possibly expect that kiss not to lead to anything more. I wanted to know everything about you, your family, where you grew up, what shampoo you use, anything I could think off.

I learnt too much.

,

"_Hey Chad, would you like a coffee or something. Tay's just finishing getting ready she'll be down soon." I say to Chad as I lead him into our kitchen. Taylor and Chad are going on their fourth date, though it seems like they'd known each other their whole lives. They just click, like two peas in a pod. _

"_Coffee would be great," Chad replies as he pulls the stall out from our breakfast bar. I begin to reach for the coffee in the top cupboard, making one for myself whilst I'm at it. _

"_So," I begin 'casual Gabriella, think casual "How's Troy?" I ask, my voice heightening in anticipation. _

"_Yeah well basketball season's staring again soon, coach and Sharpay have got him on his toes, but hey what do you expect. He's had to pull his wedding back again," Chad begins as my heart starts to clench up. _

_I can't breathe; you leave me here in shock. _

"_WEDDING" I reply, trying to cover my tight throat and beating heart. _

"_Well yeah, he's been engaged for almost, six, twelve…almost two years now" Chad finishes as he begins double checking his calculations with his long fingers. _

"_WHAT" I reply, shocked at this sudden statement, how can you possibly be engaged._

_But you kissed me; you don't kiss people when you're engaged. _

_Well you did. _

"_Well you know, he's been engaged to Sharpay, but between you and me," Chad begins as he lowers his voice, closer to mine. _

_And then you stop._

"_CHAD, I'm ready, you wanna go babe?" Taylor shouts as she begins making her way down the stairs towards us. And then Chad leaves. _

,

I only wish Chad could have finished that sentence. Maybe if he did, we wouldn't be where we are today. Maybe you and I could have had our happy ending.

After that I tried to stay away, cut you out my system. But there's only so many times you can use the 'sorry I'm washing my hair excuse in one week' Taylor kept begging and begging we go round to Chad's.

I didn't think you'd be there, I didn't think you'd remember my name.

But you did.

You remembered too much, just like me.

,

_Your eyes stare at me, whilst I pick at the dinner Chad has cooked us. My fork is poking the side of my omelette, once over…twice over, I'm not hungry, well at least not for food. I can feel your piercing orbs burning through me; it's quite ironic eyes so blue, so cold can burn so hot. I can't stomach much more and decide I need to go to the bathroom. Any excuse to leave myself from the awkward silence that remains between you and me. _

_Minutes later I return, only to find you blocking me. "Where's Taylor and Chad?" I ask sceptically. You take another step towards me. I take two steps back._

"_They went out" you reply harshly, coldly. _

"_Where?" I challenge taking another two step backs, only this time it's not the hard wall I hit but sharp corner of the table. _

"_To get dessert" you finish before ruthlessly closing the gap between us. You push me back onto the table as you hover over me, our lips collide once more only this time I love it from the beginning. I feel safe, I feel like I'm home. _

_Passion erupting inside us both; sparks shoot off like electricity, as it runs through our bodies. You finally release me, let me breath._

_Oh how noble of you. _

"_Why are you do-doing th-his too m-mee" I whimper into your eyes, I plea. _

"_Doing what" You growl back as you continue your hold on me. And I push you off. Stop you completely. Cut the cause by the root. _

"_YOU KNOW WHAT" I plea, frustrated angry with you. "You're fucking engaged!" I scream at the top of my lungs. Your mouth opens as does the front door. _

_Taylor and Chad have the best timing. _

I stayed away for weeks after that, you tried to call me. I know you did. But I declined you every time, until I could decline you now more.

You found me and forced me to listen, the answer I was avoiding.

_I step out the shower; a towel is wrapped around me tightly. The cotton rubs against my soft skin as I tie my hair into a loose bun. Then you catch me. _

"_WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"I squeal as the short towel dawns on me. _

"_Tay asked me to bring these round, she said you wouldn't mind."You reply coldly, as you place the plastic carrier on our breakfast bar. I begin to turn around; I don't want to stare at you any longer than I have to. _

"_I know you've been avoiding me!" You reply sharply, stubbornly, I freeze. You always know how to make my heart stop. _

"_I don't know what you're talking about" I reply just as cold. I don't have the chance to turn around; you're already on my back. Circling me, taunting, I am your prey, your capture, your tease. _

_And you are my drug. _

"_Yes you do, are you scared, has no one got to you like this since Mathew."I gasp, how dare you mention his name. _

"_How do you know about him" I reply as I find your face parallel to mine. _

"_The same way you know about Sharpay" you reply harsh. _

"_That's different; you're engaged for fucks' sake, when exactly were you planning on telling me, when you were walking her down the aisle, when you were declaring your love for her or maybe when you were shouting 'I Do', did it mean anything to you Troy, or was I just a bit of fun, a tease, a cheap fuck."I scream at the top of my lungs. _

"_Fuck Brie god dammit, what do you want me to say, it meant something because I don't know what it meant to you but it sure as hell meant a lot to me. Do you want me to say how guilty I feel everyday because that kiss we shared was the most excited I've felt in the last three years. Or do you want me to say how my heart skips a beat when you enter the room, when those eyes look at me, when we kiss I feel alive and you know what…I fucking hate myself for it. How in spite all of this I still can't help myself from doing this" you roar loud before you push yourself onto me. _

_And you restore me, again I feel your sweet mouth against mine and I love it. We continue to kiss, hot, fast, rough, hard until I can feel you're warm hands around my waist pulling me upwards. And before I know it, my small thighs wrap around your own tightly, secured. You begin to carry me upstairs, you're strong grip, squeezing, groping. _

,

That was the first night I gave myself to you fully. Every inch of me belonged to you, the last hold I had on my emotions slipped. You controlled me.

And yet I still didn't feel any regret the next morning. Waking up in your arms felt like the most natural feeling in the world. It felt so right and yet so wrong. But I loved it.

For months our passion continued, the fire, the burning, the drug began to take it's affect. I knew it was wrong and yet I kept coming back for more. I would find myself making excuses just to see you, feel you. It would start as a simple 'I wonder if you're home, or I need to speak to Tay' (who practically lived round Chad's). Then simple contact would turn into goodbye kisses. Kisses would turn into lust and lust would turn into 'your bedroom or mine'. I was trapped, stuck, spellbound.

I had to see you every day, turns out you had to see me as well. You know it never once dawned on me that I may have had the same effect on you, as you did to me. Not once…I just wish I would have realised sooner.

For months I lived in pure bliss, ecstasy, harmony. Nothing mattered apart from you and me. Then one day it all came crashing down. The floor was taken beneath my feet, the walls began to close in around me, I was trapped but not the way you liked.

The first day the guilt began to creep in, you see it starts a just a small seed, a root, a cancer. And yet pretty soon it begins to grow, twist and turn throughout your body until soon you're all black, evil, the guilt creeps in. You become the bad person.

I saw you with her.

,

_I sip on my latte, as my attention is drawn to nothing but the small spider that lies in the corner of the window. My thoughts are on you once again, they always are. I take another sip, the hot frothy liquid pours down my throat. It soothes me._

_I grab the small cardboard cup and begin to make my way towards the door. I am just about to reach for the handle as I see you walk down the street. Hand in hand…with her. I black out, hide behind the counter as you pass._

_As you continue walking I realise you are with your fiancée. Sharpay Evans, soon to be Mrs Bolton. For a moment I wonder why you still keep me. I mean look at her, perfect blonde extensions', perfectly manicured nails and dressed to envy. Not a touch of lip gloss is out of place, she looks happy_

_All this guilt begins to resurface to my heart, there's only so much you can push down and even when you do, it always finds a way back up. God I feel sick, nauseous, revolting._

_I'd always despised the slut that stole Mathew away from me. And now I was that slut. _

,

I thought you looked happy as well with her that day, only now do I realise you weren't. I told you that night that I couldn't do this anymore. You knew something was wrong from the moment your eyes met mine. I said it was over, I was giving up the drug, giving up you, if only life were that simple.

How many drug abusers do you know that get clean the first time. Because no matter how hard you try, temptation always lurks just around the corner. After a few days of no contact you found me and drew me back in.

You said you loved me and somewhere deep inside me…I knew I loved you too. You said you'd break up with her, you didn't love her, you never did and anything you did feel for her would quickly be filled with pain from losing me. I almost believed you.

,

"_I did it" you reply, a small smile creeps from beyond the corners of your lips. _

"_What?" I reply naively, not jinxing what I think you just did. _

"_I broke it off with Sharpay" you whisper as your forehead comes into contact with mine, our noses touch. _

"_Really?" I ask in hope, maybe god really doesn't hate me. _

"_Yes, I love you Gabriella Montez, I want to spend the rest of my life with you not Sharpay" you reply softly into my ear. Your hot breath runs a chill down my spine. _

,

I wish I'd believed you when you said you loved me and wanted to spend the rest of your life with me.

But I didn't.

You know we almost made it a whole month as a proper couple. I loved waking up in your arms, taking in your scent, kissing you whenever I wanted to, no hiding, and no complications. Just you and me.

You risked so much for me, your reputation, status, your fiancée and even some of your friends and only now do I realise why. You only realise how lucky you were until the luck's gone.

And here's the part where I break.

I had the key to your apartment that you gave me for an anniversary present. We'd only been a couple for a month but we'd been together for longer. So I often popped in just to kiss you, touch you, feel you, just to tell you I loved you.

,

_My hands tremble from the cold that looms around outside. Your key is in my hand, the cold metal burns my skin. You obviously don't hear me come in. _

_As I push open the door, I see you with her in the hallway. You are kissing, giving her what you declare mine. She touches you, tastes you. You must be so engrossed into the kiss you don't notice me until you hear my gasp, my shock, the snap of my heart. _

_I need to get away, I quickly turn on my heals and begin to walk out the front door. My quick pace begins to look like more of a sprint because every step I take is a step further away from you. _

"_BRIE" you plea as you leave a stunned Sharpay quick on your back. _

"_Troysie" she shouts, you chase me and she's chase's you. _

_I run and run and don't stop. Sharpay gives up mumbles something about her Prada shoes being too high. But you're still on my case; fastly approaching, you're catching up. _

_I feel your grasp on my arm; you tug my body towards you. _

"_It wasn't what it looked like!" you plea harsh as you give nothing away. _

"_Really, then what was it?" I question, tears find their way out the corner of my eyes, burn my skin, slow and harsh. _

"_She just forced her way in" you plea. I hear enough, I continue to walk fast on my pace. But you continue to chase. "She told me she couldn't live without me, she would get me off the team, and she told me she would take my career away from me as quick as I could make a free pass. She said I was nothing without her and that I only had one choice." You shout, I know we begin to attract a crowd but I don't care, I couldn't believe I ever did. _

"_I bet you did, I bet you kissed her faster than she could blink, did you beg for her Troy, and after all we've been through she just waltzes In, flutters her eyelashes here and there and takes everything away" I scream in anger and bitter._

"_I didn't kiss her" you reply, you don't even raise your voice. "Do you want to know what my reply was, I said no. I said I could never love her as much as I love you. I told her to take my stupid basketball career away from me if that made her happy. Because if she was happy maybe she would just begin to understand how I feel every day with you. I love you; let her take away anything she wants as long as it's not you." You finish, I see a small tear escape your eyes too. We match. _

"_That still doesn't explain you and her kissing, I know what I saw Troy" I reply weeping. I begin to cross the road, arms crossed firmly against my chest. _

"_GABRIELL-A" you howl. I walk across the road; I hear your howl, your cry for help. I turn my head only to see the car speed past, coming to a halt…just like my life. You get taken underneath. The car gets you. I see your form collapse before my very eyes and the next thing I know, you lay on the cold concrete surrounded in warm red liquid. Your eyes begin to flicker; you look so content and oblivious to what's going on around you. I hear a small whisper, a last tug to my heart. "I love you."_

,

I don't know who called the ambulance but they called it too late. By the time the paramedics pushed past the crowd, circling you and me, you're gone. I know it because I felt you leave me and I suddenly began to feel so alone, empty and cold.

You did that to me.

So now I'm standing here, right beside you. My fingers trace your name a thousand times over, outlining the T in Troy, the B in Bolton, and the L in loving. I read it all the time and replace the flowers; tell you about my life and I tell you I forgive you. Hoping you'd forgive me.

_Troy Bolton_

_1984-2008_

_Loving Son, Friend, Godfather and Boyfriend. _

_Stolen from time, missed by too many. _

"He loved you, you know" a deep voice comes from behind me. Only one person I know has an afro that big.

"Sometimes I wished he didn't" I reply hard and resentful. "I killed him" I whimper.

"No you didn't, you saved him. He never loved Sharpay; I guess he just felt guilty. Her father Mr Evans had a big input on the team; he did so much for Troy and helped him get on the team. Sharpay kept pushing for a date and he kept saying no but as you know, there are only so many times you can decline. Especially for a whining, selfish blonde like that" Chad replies trying to crack a smile, a joke because it's the only way he can deal with it, make humour of it and I suppose it's better than dwelling like me.

"She couldn't stand the fact that every inch of his spare time was spent either with you 'as friends' or talking about you. You know I think I know more about you than you do yourself, always asking…god it was annoying. I knew he loved you from the second he saw you. She knew it too, she told him to stop seeing you but he couldn't. We all told him he was getting in too deep but he kept coming back for more, for you. It was like he couldn't help himself, you were his drug and then obviously he broke it off with her. You set him free Gabs and saved him. He loved you…don't ever forget that." Chad replies as a small smile finds refuge in the corners' of his lips. "I'll come back later, say hi for me" Chad replies as he begins to walk off in the opposite direction, humming a soft tune.

It was then at that moment I realised something. You saved me as much as I saved you. Before you I was dead, a cold heartless bitch. Then you came along and flipped my life upside down, you gave me hope, faith and most of all you gave me love.

I thought you were the drug and I was the victim. I was the one that suffered, you teased, taunted; you controlled me and captured me.

Turns out I was wrong.

I was your drug.

And you were my saviour.

* * *

**A/N: So there it is REWRITTEN; basically it was about how love can be just as much a drug as cocaine and crack. It doesn't have to be a physical substance to be addictive. I hope it makes much more sense now it's rewritten; hopefully the past and present tense are more clear now. Also I have fine tuned some of the sentences, now they are much less confusing. Though it's really hard to do flashbacks in first person. So I' m sorry if it still is a bit confusing, just bear with it!**

**Please review, it means so much when any of my stories gain a review, they are all appreciated. And I should have the next LIALLL up soon, fingers crossed!**

**Grace xxx**


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